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 Practice Makes Perfect, Elena Ayton's Training
Elena Ayton
 Posted: Aug 1 2014, 08:30 PM
| Quote |


Novice Handler
**
Members
Total Posts: 48
Member No. 1726
Joined on 29-July 14.


Characters:
Elena Ayton

Awards: None


Goals
  • Bonding with the Pokémon (Lapras)
  • Experience gain for the Pokémon (Lapras)
  • Happiness gain for the Pokémon (Lapras)
  • Character development
Setting
  • Just outside of Marchton City, not yet at Route Three.
  • Two weeks after obtaining Lapras, just after starting their travels
It was still quite early in the morning, but Elena wanted an early start in training her new Pokémon. It would do them no good to start their travels if her Lapras was still weak. Smiling fondly, Elena whipped out the Pokéball given to her by the hiker she had saved two weeks ago. It had taken that long to convince her father that this path could lead them to more gold. Father would do better on his own, anyway. He doesn't need to stress about me if I'm miles away from him, Elena thought. And, of course, the last thing Elena wanted was to stress her father out. Then again, Mr. Ayton had always been more concerned as to Elena's actions rather than her well-being. He was a good man stuck in a sinner's body, but Elena loved her father nonetheless.

But back to the topic on hand. "Lapras, come on out!" Elena commanded. A Lapras was a little too gentle for the Pokémon Elena had always dreamed about, but it was a Pokémon, and she was quite happy to have her. A burst of red light appeared, and from it came a tall Pokémon -- at least two feet taller than the raven-haired beauty that was its trainer, but that wasn't too hard to achieve due to Elena's minuscule height. Dark amber eyes raked up and down the Transport Pokémon as Elena assessed her partner. Its primary color was blue, with darker splotches arranged in an artful manner along its neck and around its shell. The spot where its ears were supposed to be was home to two loops (spirals, if you will). In the middle of its forehead was a blue bump that resembled a horn of sorts. Meanwhile, a yellow-cream color extended from the underside of its neck and jaw to down beneath its large gray shell. The body part in question appeared quite smooth, frills in the same color outlining it, with gray bumps, much like the one on its forehead, appearing at regular intervals. The Lapras was quite the beauty, but Elena wondered how strong it would be.

Well, there was only one way to find out. "Alright, Lapras. Use Ice Beam at that tree," Elena ordered, flicking her dark hair back as she awaited a powerful beam of ice to emit from the Pokémon. Instead, all she got was Lapras looking at her with an expression that clearly said Is there a point to this? Making it worse for the young trainer, Elena clearly knew a Pokémon as intelligent as Lapras knew exactly what its trainer was saying, and that this Lapras knew how to use the move. "Come on. Just use it," Elena snapped, pointing towards the tree with an impatient expression. Her Pokémon looked over to the direction with mild amusement, then glanced back at her trainer, the look of amusement clear on its face. "Look, we need to train if you're to get any stronger, and this is the only way to do it," Elena huffed. Lapras considered this for a moment. "<Oh, I suppose you've got a point>," she conceded, before turning back to the tree. The icy beam emitted from its mouth, shooting forward.

Unfortunately, it missed its mark by a few feet and instead ended up freezing a bush to the left of its intended target. Rather than being embarrassed, the Lapras merely glanced back to its trainer lazily. "<There, I did it,>" came the response. Elena, not understanding what her Pokémon was saying, merely ignored the statement. She groaned, putting her head in her hands. "We have a lot to work on," she said with a sigh. Lapras sighed too, although her exhale of breath was more of a 'Do I really have to?' one than a total agreement one.

Racking her brains, Elena tried to think of a way for Lapras to get more motivated. She knew, of course, that the species was peaceful as a whole. This one seemed to have more of an adventurous side, but she also appeared to not want to do anything if there wasn't a point to it. The Ayton half understood this. Wait. She only half understood Lapras, so maybe...

Suddenly, Elena had her aha! moment. Smiling, the trainer turned to her Pokémon. "You know what, let's just relax for today. Get to know each other. I know I didn't get much of a chance to spend time with you when we were at home, so let's make up that time," she said cheerfully. Of course, the young trainer wasn't usually this talkative nor kind (nor willing to socialize), but, hey, miracles do happen.

"<Sounds better than shooting meaningless Ice Beams at trees,>" Lapras agreed. The young trainer smiled. The prospect of bonding with her Pokémon (her new best friend) seemed quite appealing now, and Elena had no idea why she had not thought of it earlier. "Alright, I think there's a small lake over towards Route 3," Elena said, beginning to walk towards the Route. A look akin to excitement sparked in the Water-Type's eyes. Land could be so boring and dry, and it was impossible to move as well. The prospect of swimming immediately cheered the Lapras up.

Elena decided to bond with her Pokémon as they walked rather than return it and get to the pond faster. "Well, I already told you Mom died when I was born. Everyone says that I look like her, but I don't think I'll ever be as pretty or as good of a Pokémon trainer as she was," Elena said, sighing sadly. Beside her, the trainer's counterpart made a soft chuffing sound. Lapras gently rubbed her head against Elena's, eliciting a small giggle from the teenager. "Thanks, Lapras," she said gratefully, helping the finned Pokémon over a steeper incline of rocks on the hill.

"You know, you're my first real friend," Elena mused. "Mrs. Arlington was really nice, and I'm so grateful towards her, but it was more of a teacher student relationship with her, you know?" Immediately after saying the sentence, Elena blushed. Of course Lapras didn't know. It was still quite young, despite having an attitude far superior to anyone else Elena had met. Then again, Elena hadn't met many people in her lifetime, and Lapras's attitude was nothing compared to some characters she had read about in her books.

"Anyways," Elena quickly said, covering the former question up. "Why didn't you like your old trainer? He seemed pretty nice, just awkward. Or do you not like awkward people?" The young trainer was rambling now as they worked their way up a hill. The grass sounded beneath them, Elena's footsteps making crunching sounds while Lapras's sliding rustled it. "Lapras," the Pokémon agreed.

As they rounded up the hill, the crystal reflection of sky appeared in the form of a small lake. Lapras let out a sigh, as if saying We're finally here. Or maybe There's no more hills to climb, thank Arceus. Elena wasn't really sure, but she chuckled. "Alright, use Ice Beam to make a slide down to the lake!" she said. Yet again, Lapras sent her a questioning look. "Alright, Lapras. You're going to have to start trusting my motivations more. We can't have you looking at me every time we're in a battle, or every time you don't feel like doing something. So...do you trust me?" Elena asked, tipping her head as she glanced up at her Pokémon. Lapras cocked her head to the side, thinking on her trainer's words. Elena certainly had common sense on her side, but the last human she had belonged to was a fumbling mess. But she trusted Elena, right? Even if the girl was somewhat standoffish at times, Lapras enjoyed her company a whole lot more.

"<I trust you>," Lapras agreed. Correctly interpreting the statement, Elena grinned and was about to say something when the large blue Pokémon turned. A glowing white ball of energy appeared, and the Ice Beam crackled to life, forming a path that stopped just short of the lake. The Pokémon stopped the beam of energy, panting with slight exhaustion. "Well, we obviously have more work to do, but for now, let's have a little fun!" Elena cheered with a giggle. "Lapras!" the Pokémon said in obvious agreement before diving down the ice slide. Laughing, Elena followed. The serious trainer had decided that maybe having fun wasn't all that bad.

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Seasle
 Posted: Aug 11 2014, 09:54 AM
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Expert Handler
******
Background Mods
Total Posts: 860
Member No. 284
Joined on 28-April 12.


Characters:
Lev Rabuta, Lilith Fauve, Rook

Awards: 3




Writing Quality/Length: 3/5
The grammar and spelling are good, but I feel like this could've gotten quite a bit longer. Still, a solid piece of writing.

Training Effectiveness/Plausibility/Creativity: 4/5
This training is completely plausible for a new handler and her pokemon. It was also quite effective for your goals. It could use a little work on the creative side, but otherwise is perfect.

"WOW Factor": 1/2
I really liked how lazy our Lapras is - and the note about them being peaceful by nature. Both nice additions to the training post ^_^

Rewards:
2 happiness bars for Lapras.
6 exp for Lapras. She grows one level.

--------------------
Lilith Fauve

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Elena Ayton
 Posted: Aug 27 2014, 06:53 PM
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Novice Handler
**
Members
Total Posts: 48
Member No. 1726
Joined on 29-July 14.


Characters:
Elena Ayton

Awards: None


Goals
  • bonding with Kea
  • experience gain for Kea
  • increased accuracy and power for Ice Beam
Setting
  • Outside of Marchton City, in a lightly forested area beside a river.
  • Noon.
The heat was sweltering, and Elena was quite thankful that they were next to a river. Kea was quite happy about that fact as well, and was currently dozing in the stream, her trainer relaxing beside the large blue Pokémon. Even the shade underneath the trees couldn't compare to the cool waves that gently lapped against the traveling companions. The noon humidity made both quite drowsy, and the excited adrenaline and euphoria that had energized both the runaway and the Pokémon was dying away. The combination of both was causing the pair to belatedly almost fall asleep (in Kea's case, she was asleep, but Elena decided that at least one of them had to keep a lookout). Seeing as the Lapras was apparently too sleepy to do so, Elena took watch as the sun reached its zenith and began to slowly slip back down again.

The teen gently traced her hand over the Lapras's blue skin and grey shell, feeling the wet, slippery skin slide against her fingers while the coarse shell scratched at it. Her touch was light, and certainly not enough to disturb the dozing Pokémon. Kea's breath was slow and steady (and winning the race) as she slept, her body floating in the river's current while her long neck stretched around to rest on a boulder. Elena was stripped of most her clothes, only having a small piece of cloth to cover her privates and breasts. A small smile played on her lips as she recounted all the happy memories she had had since her partnership with Kea had begun. The Lapras was a polar opposite of her, and perhaps that was good. The fiery teen had discovered a whole other flip side to herself, and while Elena wasn't too sure about that other side of her personality (one that she had only shown to the woman who had taught her to read), it was quite refreshing from her usual antagonistic self -- even to her.

Elena muffled a slight yawn, her eyes fluttering shut before she forced them open again. Maybe she needed to get up and walk around a little. Yes, that would certainly help her stay awake. The trainer detached herself from Kea and waded to shore, where she changed back into her traveling garments. The plain, drab fabric stuck to her as a mixed result of the humidity and the moisture the river had shed upon her, but the heated summer sun quickly began its drying process. Even her hair began to dry, although Elena decided that it was a bad thing, upon trying to brush her hands through her hair. Sighing, the petite girl walked back over to the river, splashing water over her hair to wet it again. Her hands made quick work of the dark brown strands, turning them into a smooth braid -- a French braid that trailed down her back. The whole process took about ten minutes, due to the fact that the sun was yet again drying her hair. The humid, sticky hair at the end of her braid was quite tangled, but Elena ignored it and finished the braid up quickly.

The splashes and ripples from where Elena stood beside the riverbank must have woken the Lapras, for Okeanos's head suddenly raised, swiveling around for a few moments, trying to get past the right-after-sleep-stupor and focusing on Elena. Curiously, the Pokémon swam closer, leaning down to carefully sniff at the braid. Her trainer looked different, she thought, with her hair in those knots. But she still looks gorgeous, the loyal Pokémon thought, snorting her approval. As usual, the Pokémon brought a smile to the young trainer's face and she couldn't help but gently scratch the Lapras's neck. At the gentle touch, Kea crooned her approval, sighing in comfort.

"So, Kea," Elena began to speak, still carefully administering her touch to the Lapras's skin, "I've decided that we should start training more often. I think it will really help you improve your skills, and I don't know about you, but I'm quite competitive." Actually, Kea could care less about being the best, but she still nodded supportively. Where Elena went, she would follow. If it meant she had to train and fight, so be it. The Lapras's admiration and loyalty to her trainer was actually quite awe-inspiring, and Elena was genuinely touched by it. She knew that Kea wasn't violent at all, in fact, the Lapras could strike some as a little lazy. But Elena loved her anyway.

Smiling, the petite trainer continued. "So I was thinking about what type of training we could do. After a bit of thinking on it, I remembered that you could use the move Ice Beam. But, as you have noticed, the heat is quite intense," Elena explained. A true fact, after all. Only in the river did they have some chance of staying cool. In fact, Elena was getting a bit too warm, the muggy air around her making her braided hair stick on end. Not that she was saying she wanted to be frozen in Lapras's Ice Beam, but that was apparently how Kea had translated since, not two seconds after, her Ice Beam hit her full on the face. At this close range, she was quite accurate.

The trainer was immediately frozen in ice, although it began to drip and melt from the heat. Soon, Elena was simply standing there soaking wet, a bit more refreshed, but with not a piece of ice on her. Kea seemed confused by why the attack had worn off quickly, and opened her mouth to deliver the ice again. "Wait!" Elena yelped. However refreshing the ice was, her clothes would fall apart if they got soaked again. "Erm, not quite what I meant," she said more calmly as the white orb faded away and Kea closed her mouth. "But yeah, you noticed how fast that ice melted?" Here, she paused, and the intelligent Pokémon nodded in assent. "We need to train your Ice Beam so you can freeze others longer," she explained. Kea supposed that this would help her competitive trainer, so she nodded in agreement. "But, uh, don't freeze me again," she quickly added with a sheepish grin.

"So let's begin. How about you use your Ice Beam on that rock, first?" she suggested, pointing towards the boulder that Kea had recently been snoozing on. "Really focus on it, and give it your all," Elena urged as the Lapras began to use the attack. You could see that Kea was really giving it her all. The large Pokémon's eyes were narrowed as she slipped into the water. The cool water seemed to really help Kea, as the white orb's energy and intensity increased. "That's it, great job, Kea!" Elena cheered again. The Ice Beam was released, shooting in a straight path to the boulder and immediately freezing it in a thick coating of ice. "That was amazing, Kea!" the trainer said, hugging the Lapras happily. Withdrawing, Elena composed herself. She was in full out trainer mode now, and Kea's success had invigorated her.

"Alright, that was amazing, Kea. Very nicely done. Two things, however. First, I notice you're a bit tired after that," the young trainer noted. The Lapras was, indeed, breathing a bit heavier than she had been before attempting the attack. "We'll have to work on your endurance. Second, it took you some time to charge up that power. Earlier, I noticed that your accuracy isn't that good either." Noticing that Kea looked a bit crestfallen by the observations (which were, as she knew, true), Elena hastened to comfort the sensitive Pokémon. "But that attack was truly beautiful. Now, I think we'll start with your accuracy. Try shooting at the boulder again." At this time, the boulder had began to melt. Not any fault with the Lapras's power; it was simply that it was too hot. "But this time, don't focus on making it stronger or anything, just try to get it head on. And do it fast." Elena wanted to make sure that the Lapras could have the accuracy she had mustered earlier without a minute of concentration.

Nodding slightly, the Lapras, who had, by now, regained her breath, turned to the center of the river yet again. Within a second, a second Ice Beam had been shot at the rock. The attack had somewhat hit, glancing off the side and freezing only a side of the rock. Not wanting Kea to be discouraged, Elena nodded and smiled. "You didn't completely miss, so that's good," she encouraged. "Try again!" The Lapras keened a reluctant agreement, and began to try again. Nonetheless, the next two attempts had the same result, one glancing off the other side, the second hitting the top of the boulder. The petite trainer stood, brow slightly wrinkled as she thought. "Alright...see if you can have that concentration from earlier, but still maintain that speed," Elena suggested. And while it took Kea a notable ten or so seconds more, the attack froze half of the rock, causing the trainer to smile and clap her hands as if a little kid again. Calming down, Elena scratched the back of Kea's neck. "That was amazing! Just how I want it. Try and reduce your speed again." The next five attacks got successively faster, each freezing the boulder as if there was a red bull's-eye marked on it. Elena was elated by Lapras's improved performance, and it showed in her delighted and enthusiastic movements. The drowsiness from earlier had, yet again, been replaced by adrenaline. And while Okeanos was quite tired from the repeated attempts at Ice Beam, she was glowing at well at her success.

"Alright, now I want you to practice on a moving target. But not me. Hmm." Glancing around, Elena searched for any Pokémon that might be a recipient of their training. Not many dared to be out in this heat, despite the fact that it was a few hours after the sun had reached its zenith. She'd also prefer a water Pokémon, so Kea would be practically immune to most of its attacks if it tried to fight back. One that wouldn't swim away after being hit would, of course, be preferable. As if answering her call, a green and white shape sprang out of the water. Holding up her Pokécard, she identified the fish-like Pokémon as a level three Basculin. Perfect.

http://i832.photobucket.com/albums/zz241/HarperRegion/Sprites/131lapras.png v.s. http://i832.photobucket.com/albums/zz241/HarperRegion/Sprites/BWPokemon/550.png

From what she remembered of her readings, the Pokémon was extremely hostile (hence its title as the 'Hostile Pokémon') as well as a delicious meal. They were quite violent and almost always fighting, the exact opposite of Kea. Speaking of the Lapras, she looked a bit doubtful at having to use her attack on another Pokémon. "Alright, Kea. That's your target. Start off with a Water Gun to draw it in," Elena said in an excited whisper. The Lapras still seemed a little doubtful, but did as asked, shooting the water so it hit in front of the Basculin. Violently, the green Pokémon erupted from the river, searching for the source of its disturbance. "Ice Beam, go!" Elena said. Her eyes were a mix of excitement and anxiety. She knew Kea was peaceful, but she hoped that the Pokémon would be able to conquer that nature.

After a little hesitation, Kea attacked, the ice freezing a patch in the water where the Pokémon had been a split second ago. "See its patterns," Elena urged. Lapras, clearly confused by the statement, turned around awaiting a clearer order. Realizing how vague and non concise her words had been, the petite trainer opened her mouth to deliver another order when Basculin's Water Gun hit Kea straight in the face. The Lapras cringed, feeling the water hit full force. Her Water Absorb ability certainly helped to soften the blow and heal her HP, of course, but Kea was more shocked than anything. "Watch how it moves underwater and aim where it's going to be when your attack gets it," the petite girl elaborated from beside the Lapras. Meanwhile, the hostile Basculin seemed a bit confused on why its attack did nothing on the larger Pokémon, but it didn't dwell on the subject for long. As it zoomed in for another attack (no doubt one that might actually do some damage this time), Elena shouted out, "Ice Beam! Now!" Taking her trainer's comments in stride and acting as her usual calm self, Kea focused and shot the Ice Beam directly in front of the Basculin. Bull's-eye. As the half-frozen, melting Basculin sullenly swam away in defeat, Elena engulfed the Lapras into a hug.

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Khaleesi
 Posted: Sep 1 2014, 03:04 AM
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nerd hater
******
Banned
Total Posts: 934
Member No. 1506
Joined on 17-March 14.


Characters:
Elena "Ellie" Fletcher, Clare Everhart,

Awards: 2





Writing Quality/Length: 5/5
Much longer than your first, and a very good length for a training post besides. Some repetition of phrases and words was a distraction, but I didn’t notice any other spelling or grammatical errors. Nicely done!

Training Effectiveness/Plausibility/Creativity: 2/5
There wasn’t anything particularly creative about the methods of the training. The effectiveness of the training did not really seem to meet up with all of the goals.


Kea has earned seven (7) EXP!
She has increased to level 8 (1/4 EXP to next level)! Kea has learned Confuse Ray (lv.07 move).
Goals:
  • bonding with Kea
    • Kea gains one (1) bar of happiness! The way their personalities both clash and mesh makes for a pleasant read.
  • increased accuracy for Ice Beam
    • Ice Beam is already a 100% accuracy move! So the accuracy really cannot go any higher.
  • increased power for Ice Beam
    • Kea’s Ice Beam has gone from 90 BP to 115 BP.
  • Other:
    • A comment has been added to her notes: “Able to use and maintain ice-type attacks in the heat better than the average lapras.”

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Trainer Sprite Shop
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Sigs by CounterHex!

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Elena Ayton
 Posted: Sep 4 2014, 06:54 AM
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Novice Handler
**
Members
Total Posts: 48
Member No. 1726
Joined on 29-July 14.


Characters:
Elena Ayton

Awards: None


http://i832.photobucket.com/albums/zz241/HarperRegion/Sprites/131lapras.png http://i832.photobucket.com/albums/zz241/HarperRegion/Sprites/368gorebyss.png

Goals
  • heightened speed and evasiveness in water
  • heightened accuracy overall
  • training Gorebyss to use Water Pulse
    • this is more of one of those goals that you want accomplished but just isn't going to happen; Luster is too easily distracted to attempt it
  • training Lapras to use Water Pulse
Setting
  • same place (river outside of Marchton)
  • late evening, low lighting
Once again, the duo was dozing. The afternoon's heat had worn off, and the sun had begun to sink over the horizon. Yawning, Elena stretched out her cramped muscles, waking Kea up in the process. The Lapras looked over at her trainer, who was feeling rejuvenated after the rest, wondering what they were going to do now. "Kea, I think it's time for you to meet up with the newest member of our team," she announced. The Lapras looked slightly more interested as she spoke, straightening out and crawling into the river, awaiting what would come out.

"Luster, go!" the trainer cheered melodramatically. A long, pink creature slipped into the water besides the larger blue Pokemon. Startled, the Lapras waded a bit further from the riverbank as the shape of a Gorebyss made itself clear. "Gorebyss!" The Lapras waded forward to greet her newest counterpart, bending her neck down to sniff at Luster curiously. The Pokemon responded by snorting some water into her eyes. "Hey, now, Luster, let's not do that, alright?" Elena said, approaching the duo.

The Gorebyss reluctantly sighed and backed away. It was much longer than Elena in length, and she had no doubt she'd be able to hitch a ride once they got a closer bond. "Alright, let's get started with training, alright?" Elena questioned rhetorically. The pink pokemon's head poked above water as she nodded, curious as to how her new trainer would handle her training. "We're going to play tag."

The proclamation was met by dead silence and confused looks. However intelligent she was, Kea had no idea what her trainer was talking about. Luster, on the other hand, seemed to have lost interest and was swimming around underwater, her pink form darting underneath the clear stream. "Tag is a game where one person, er, Pokemon, is 'it'. They have to then 'tag' someone else, and then that Pokemon will become it," she explained. Luster still seemed not to get it, although her attention had refocused on Elena. "Lapras, Lap Lapras," Kea explained. Elena patiently waited while the two seemed to have a deep conversation.

"I'm changing the rules a little, however. Seeing as it's already almost dark, you'll have a hard time seeing each other. So instead, all you have to do is use the move Water Pulse or Water Gun. Now, I realize that neither of you know Water Pulse, but I think you'll find that it'll give you an advantage of wider range of motion," she further explained. She glanced quickly at her newest Pokemon, but Luster was thankfully as attentive as Kea at the moment.

"Right, ready set go!" she said, stepping back to observe her Pokemon play the game.

As calm as Lapras was, her reaction time was quite long, and by the time her long neck had swung over to glance at her counterpart, Luster had already shot a well-aimed Water Gun that hit Kea's shell. "Faster, Kea, I know you can do it!" Elena urged. The Lapras, beginning to get into the game now, swung her head around, eyes glancing over the river as she searched for the pink skin that would indicate Luster's form. "Try a Water Pulse and see if you can disrupt Luster from the river," Elena suggested. "Think about using Water Gun, but gather the energy into a ball and release it into a wider spray," she added.

Focusing on a spot near where they had practiced Ice Beam earlier, Okeanos opened her mouth as if about to deliver a Water Gun attack. Instead, a glowing orb of blue energy gathered in her mouth, although somewhat small. As Kea continued to focus her energy into the orb, visible signs of strain appeared from the tall Pokemon. "That's it, Kea!" the petite trainer urged, watching in rapture. The orb of water was released, sending a ray of water into the river. It uprooted the Gorebyss almost instantly, the pink Pokemon leaping into the air to avoid the attack and unfortunately failing as Kea quickly shot another Water Gun to finish it off.

The Water-type propped her head up above-water, beginning to shoot Water Guns at the Lapras. "You know what, Luster, shots that hit Kea's shell don't count," Elena called over as five successive Water Guns hit the dual Water- and Ice-type. Kea's immunity to Water-type attacks made sure that no damage was taken from the Water Guns, but she seemed a bit anxious as well as annoyed that she couldn't dodge.

Using her flippers, she quickly waded her way until she had put the boulder between herself and the Gorebyss. "Nice job using that boulder. Luster, see if you can leap from the river and aim an attack at her this way," Elena suggested from her spot at the riverbank. The Gorebyss took the advice, having no other ideas to get to Kea without her moving, and aiming a Water Gun at the Lapras. Kea was prepared, however, and had aimed a Water Pulse (albeit a quick, weak, rushed one) at the river, blasting a waterfall into the air to block the attack.

"Very nice use of Water Pulse, Kea! I'm impressed!" Elena called over. "Luster, let's see you try it!"

The Gorebyss wasn't very pleased by being commanded to do so, but tried anyway. The Pokemon being underwater sent currents underneath the river rather than an attack Elena could see, but she could tell that Luster wasn't putting her all into it. "Try it again above water," she suggested. The pink Pokemon huffed but propped herself above the water anyway. Her purple fin dragged lazily in the current behind her as a blue orb formed at her forehead. It had a slight glow to it, but when released, it barely had more width than a regular Water Gun, which Kea dodged with ease.

"Well, it obviously needs more work, but I think you're on the right track," the Asiatic-looking trainer said, remaining calm despite Luster's sullen mood. The Gorebyss wasn't such a big fan of working hard and simply used Water Gun again. Elena sighed, shaking her head, but didn't comment. Caught by surprise, Kea caught the glancing blow of it to the side of her face. Blinking, she shook the water out of her eyes before glancing around calmly for the Gorebyss again. Rearing up, she plummeted back into the water, sending claps of waves in a ring around her. A slight glitch, which anyone else would have been oblivious to, occurred as it passed over near the riverbank, and the Lapras was quick to key in on it.

A few seconds passed as she gathered up the energy into a Water Pulse, and Elena backed up in case she got wet from the attack. The orb was sent spiraling almost next to the riverbank, sending the Gorebyss flying back out of the water and into the trainer. With an oomph of surprise, the trainer fell onto the grass, weighed down by the Pokemon that was about half her weight. "Ah, nice job Kea," Elena said, lifting the large Pokemon in her arms and dropping it back into the water. Luster shook her head as if in embarrassment.

"Alright, I think we've had enough of that. One more thing before we rest for the day," Elena said, stopping the two before they could start their 'Tag' game again. The Gorebyss looked quite disappointed at that fact, seeing as she had never gotten a chance to get Kea back. "I was scouting up the river earlier and caught sight of a waterfall-like area with a lot of rocks. How do you two feel about going through an obstacle course?" she asked, grinning at her two Pokemon.

Luster, jumping at the chance to redeem herself, nodded enthusiastically as she floated just above the river's glassy surface. Meanwhile, the less-than-agile Lapras seemed to have to think on it a little, but finally nodded assent. "Alright, Kea, I'll let you back out when we get there." It was impossible for the Lapras to move through land, and Elena felt it would be too tough for her to go upstream. Meanwhile, the Gorebyss's slender, streamlined body made it possible for her to accompany Elena while she walked up. "Let's go, Luster."

Elena wasn't quite keen on swimming through the river: it had grown quite cold, after all, the afternoon's humidity giving way to the darker, colder air of the evening. Instead, she walked along the riverbank beside Luster. It reminded her all too much of drifting down the river with Kea earlier that day -- maybe this was how she should acquaint herself with all her new Pokemon. There was no talking between the two, but Elena felt that the silence was quite comfortable.

(Obstacle course will be in next post.)

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Adelulf
 Posted: Dec 18 2014, 08:09 AM
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Tier 4 or Die Trying
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Banned
Total Posts: 742
Member No. 1545
Joined on 8-April 14.


Characters:
Leodel "Leo" Degen, Rodric Steiner "Hatchet", Reva of Fough

Awards: 4




Writing Quality and Length: 5/5
Nice length, not too short and not drawn out unnecessarily, well done! Very few grammatical errors and those I barely noticed. I enjoy how you write your Lapras as that calm but deliberate thinker, its reactions just feel so true to what I imagine a Lapras to be like.

Training Effectiveness/Plausibility/Creativity:3/5
I feel you did a good job writing towards most of your goals, though I am unsure about the increase in speed. This training isn't massively creative, but definitely not bland since you set restrictions on how a basic game was played to increase the challenge. I find it all totally plausible, and like the fundamental description of how a Water Pulse could be formed.

Goals and Rewards
  • I grant you evasiveness but don't think speed was played out fully - +3% Evasion to both pokemon!
  • Limiting Lusters target range and putting Kea against a maneuverable opponent was solid for accuracy - +5% accuracy for both pokemon!
  • Luster, lacking enthusiasm but close to Water Pulse's natural learn level, gains 20% effectiveness with Water Pulse!
  • Kea, attentive and focused and close to Water Pulse's natural learn level, gains 50% effectiveness with Water Pulse!
  • Luster gains 4 exp for her efforts - Now level 11! Learns Draining Kiss!
  • Kea gains 6 exp for her efforts - Now level 10 3/4! Learns Ice Shard!

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